Friday, November 1, 2019

PARENTS AND CHILDREN - RIGHTS AND LIABILITIES - 2


Rights of Parents: Allah (s.w.t.) says in Hadith al-Qudsi: “I swear by My Glory that if a (child who is) disobedient to his parents comes to me with all the good deeds of all the prophets, I will not accept them from him.” (Hadees-e-Qudsi is the word of Allah spoken by the Noble Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) which is not the Glorious Qur’an).
If there is anyone, after the Creator, who is directly responsible for the existence and progress of the child, it is his parents. Metaphorically, parents are the lords of their children. It is for this reason that the Glorious Qur’an mentioned the obedience of parent’s side by side with the worship of Allah (s.w.t.). In Surah al-Nisa Ayah 36, “Worship Allah and consider no one equal to Him. Be kind to your parents….” Also, Surah al-Isra’ Ayah 23, “Your Lord has ordained that you must not worship anything other than Him and that you must be kind to your parents. If either or both of your parents should become advanced in age, do not express to them which show your slightest disappointment. Never dispute with them but always speak to them with kindness. Be humble and merciful toward them and say, “Lord, have mercy up on them as they cherished me in my childhood.”  
The rights of the parents are very much akin to the rights of Allah (s.w.t.) which may be divided into three categories;
First: The right upon the “soul”, e.g., the knowledge of Allah.
Second: The right upon the “body”, e.g., prayer and fast.
Third: The right upon “property and wealth”, e.g. Zakat and Khums (religious taxes)
The rights of the parents may also be divided into these very categories.
The relevant Ayahs with the explanations by Imam Sadiq (a.s.) in parenthesis is given below:
“Worship Allah and consider no one equal to Him. Be kind to your parents.” (behave kindly with them and do not compel them to bring their needs to your attention; but fulfill their requirements before they must tell you, even though they are not in need of your assistance.) “If either or both of your parents should advance in age” (and become angry with you), “do not express to them which show your slightest disappointment.” (if they beat you). “Never dispute with them, but always speak to them with kindness.” (and respect, i.e. say to them May Allah forgive you.) “Be humble and merciful towards them” (and whenever you look at them, look with gentleness and kindness, do not raise your voice upon their voices, nor your hands above their hands; nor walk before them).
Allah (s.w.t.) has imposed financial obligation on wealthy but spending in the path of Allah for others is recommended. Likewise, everyone has been exhorted to give financial help to their parents. Surah al-Baqarah Ayah 215 says, “They ask you what to spend for the cause of Allah. (Muhammad)tell them that whatever you spend, give it to your parents…. Whatever good you do; Allah certainly is aware of it.” Surah al-Ahq’af Ayah 15 says, “We have advised the human being to be kind to his parents; his mother bore him with hardship and delivered him while suffering a great deal of pain. The period in which his mother bore and weaned him lasted for thirty months. When he grew up to manhood and became forty years old, he then said, “Lord, inspire me to give You thanks for the bounties You have granted to me and my parents, and to act righteously to please You. Lord, make my offspring virtuous. Lord I turn to you in repentance; I am a Muslim.” It is obligatory for the son to help his parents if he can while he maintains himself and his family. If any of the two conditions are not fulfilled, his obligation ceases, but the emphasized recommendation to help the parents remains. The Noble Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) said, “Anyone who likes long life and increase in sustenance should do good to their parents; because doing good to them is in fact obeying Allah. Rights of a father on his son are that; he should not call his father by name, he should not walk ahead of him, he should not sit until his father is seated, he should not do such acts as a result of which people abuse his father. The look of a child towards his parents out of love for them is an act of worship. Whoever visits the grave of his parents every Friday, Allah shall forgive his sins. Allah shall not accept the prayers of person who looks at the parents with hatred. One who argues with his father is humiliated in this world. Becoming disowned by the parents is one of the Great Sins. Lastly, there is Paradise beneath the mother’s feet.”

                Sources: Islamic Family Life by Allama Sayyid Akhtar Rizvi, Forty Ahadiths on Parents (al-islam.org)


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