From infancy to adulthood, it is unparalleled tender love
and acre of the parents which brings the child from the stage of absolute
weakness and helplessness to perfect strength and independence. On the
contrary, in old age man becomes like a small child, the mind and body becomes
so weak that Allah says in Surah Yasin Ayah 68, “If We grant long life to
any, We cause him to reverse in nature.” Parent’s heart is the fountain head of
love but still Islam has given some guidelines. The most important are education
and character building. Amir al-Muminin, Imam Ali (a.s.) said, “The first
beneficence of a parent towards the child is to give him or her a good name.”
Life may be divided into three stages:
The Noble Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) said:
“The child is the master for 7 years (First stage); and a
slave for 7 years (Second stage) and a vizier for 7 years (Third stage) ; so if
he builds a good character within 21 years, well and good, otherwise leave him
alone because (if you looked after him for 21 years) you have discharged your
responsibility before Allah.”
Instructions for First Stage: It is essential to give
utmost priority to proper upbringing and character building. The Noble
Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) said, “Respect your children and teach them good behavior,
Allah will forgive your sins.” He (s.a.w.a.s.) further said, “O Ali, it is
among the rights of the child on his father to teach him good manners and keep
him in good society.” It is desirable to give them religious education as the
impressions of childhood are difficult to erase.
Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said, “When the child is 3 years, teach
him 7 times to recite ‘La Ilaha Illallah’, after 7 months train him to say
‘Muhammadun Rasulu’llah’, when he is 4 years, teach him to recite Durood 7
times. When he is 5 years old make him face Qibla and teach him Prostration
(Sajdah). At 6 years age, he should be told to pray and teach him ruku and
sajdah. At 7 year’s age, he should be asked to wash his face and hands and tell
him to pray. When he reaches 9 years, he should be taught proper wudu- (and
should be punished if he is not careful) and proper salat (and should be
punished if he is not regular). When he learns proper wudu and salat, Allah
forgives the sins of his parents.
Instructions for Second Stage: It is the most crucial period of life;
hence the child must be given necessary religious education. The Noble
Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) said, “It is the right of a male child on his father to
teach him the Glorious Qur’an, riding and swimming.” Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said,
“It is the duty of a father to teach his son (the art of) writing.” The Noble
Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) said about the Muslim girls that they should be taught
the Surah al-Noor but not the Surah Yusuf. Islam recommends girls to be a good
wife when married, but not obliged to earn her livelihood.
Instructions for Third Stage: It is the period of
earning livelihood. The Noble Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) said that it is the right
of the girl upon her father that he should make haste in sending her to the house
of her husband. Sometimes, the irresponsible parents delay the marriage of
their daughters due to financial superiority, sect or clan. The deciding factor
should be the character of the prospective spouse. The Noble Messenger
(s.a.w.a.s.) said, “Every believer is equal in status (in matter of marriage)
to any other believer.”
The same hadith guides us about male children.; that they
should be married when they become mature. The Noble Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.)
first marriage was performed when he was 25 years old. Similarly, Imam Ali
(a.s.) was married to Sayyida Fatima Zahra (s.a.) when he was 25 years old. The
deciding factor is that when a young man becomes emotionally mature and when he
feels an urge to enter matrimonial relationship then he should get married
without any delay. If anyone brings up his children remaining within
these Islamic limits then that child will be the apple of the parent’s eyes and
the delight of their hearts; and it is this child who, in turn, may be hoped to
fulfill his obligations towards his parents. Referring to such offspring, the
Noble Messenger (s.a.w.a.s.) said, “The virtuous child is a flower from the
flowers of Paradise. Among the good fortunes of a man is the virtuous child.”
CONTINUED
Source: Islamic Family Life by Allama Sayyid Akhtar Rizvi
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