Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings
of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment. Anger can be helpful or
harmful depending upon how it is expressed. Problem occurs if people fail to
recognize and understand their anger. Anger is laudable if it is to resist
oppression and defend one’s rights.
Suppressed anger can be underlying cause of anxiety and
depression. Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt
relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of
physical problems. Long term anger has been linked to health issues such as
high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive
problems. In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as alcohol,
substance abuse, crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent
behavior.
Dr. Dale Carnegie
said; “If it becomes clear to us that we deserve punishment, then isn’t it
better for us to admit our mistakes.”
In case of the diseases of the body following rules are
followed:
- Identify the disease.
- Ways of treatment are determined.
- Dispensing appropriate medications and avoidance of harmful things.
In case of the diseases of the soul, similar procedure is
followed. By the way, the diseases of the soul are caused when its powers
trespass the bounds of modrations, moving towards the extremes of either
deficiency or excess. Anger is a disease of the soul resulting in
foolhardiness.
Clinical steps to
manage anger:
Deep breathing, self-talk and stopping angry thoughts.
Express anger in appropriate ways.
Talk through your feelings.
Put yourself in other man’s place.
Learn to laugh on yourself.
Develop good listening skills.
Learn to assert yourself.
Professional help.
Most of the decisions which are taken in a state of anger
are always followed by regret and remorse. Anger is a flame from the fire of
Shaitaan and is his most important tool.
People commit heinous crimes in a state of rage.
The power of anger created by Allah in every man is a Blessing;
however, it must be used in proper way. Consequently, we understand that anger
is of two types: the unbefitting form of anger and the praiseworthy and
obligatory anger. Therefore, when a person must command others to righteous
deeds and forbid them from evil (Amre Bill Marouf and Nahi Anil Munkar”, become
angry when sins are being committed, leaving that area, is a “praiseworthy and
obligatory” act.
The Noble Qur’an says:
“Paradise , vast as the heavens and the earth, is
prepared for the pious, who spend their property for the cause of Allah in
prosperity as well as in adversity, and who also harness their anger and
forgive the people.” (3:133-134)
“Give money for the cause of Allah but do not push
yourselves into perdition” (2:195)
"(This reward will be for) those who keep away from major sins and indecency, who forgive when they are made angry,......" (42:37)
"(This reward will be for) those who keep away from major sins and indecency, who forgive when they are made angry,......" (42:37)
The Holy Prophet
(s.a.w.s.) said: “O ‘Ali! Allah will grant the one who swallows his anger –
while he is able to act out his rage – with protection and faith on the Day of
Judgment whose pleasure the person will taste. The strong person is not the one
who can lift heavy weights. Rather, the strong person is the one who is in
control of his soul while in state of anger. Any time you get angry keep quiet.
Any time if one of you get angry, he should wash his face with cold water.”
The Commander of the
faithful Imam Ali (a.s.) said: “I advise you in regards to anger since the
beginning stage of it is insanity and the final stage is remorse. Anger is a
fire which is burning away. The one who is able to swallow it is the one who
has extinguished it, while the person who permits his anger is to be free is
the person who shall be burnt by it. A strong feeing of anger changes the way a
person speaks; destroys the pillars of logic and makes a person’s comprehension
scattered and disturbed. The staunchest of enemies for a person are his anger
and lower desires. The person who is able to take control of these two shall
have the greatest rank and shall be able to reach the pinnacles of humanity.”
Imam Jaffer al-Sadiq
(a.s.) said: “Anger spoils faith just as vinegar spoils honey. Anger is the
key to all evils.”
Imam Musa al-Kazim
(a.s.) said: “The one who controls his anger over people, Allah shall
control His anger over that person on the Day of Judgment.”
Islamic ways of
managing anger:
Following steps are recommended to manage anger:
- Change your position or place when you become angry or excited by sitting if you are standing, standing if you are sitting or leaving the place for another open place and breathing as deeply as possible while raising and lowering the hands slowly.
- Think of the greatness of Allah and His ability to punish criminals and of His Patience and Forgiveness if they repent and do good.
- If you can drive out your anger from you shout or some tears shed in private, it would be better for you.
- Look forward to the reward of Allah and think of the good end that Allah has promised the patient ones.
- Impartially study the problem that has caused you to become angry, and even if the cause is not yours, confess your mistake and turn back to your reason. This will comfort you because sincerity is the way to deliverance.
- In your study of anger, ask yourself the following questions and reflect deeply on the answers:
- Is the matter so important that it justifies all this sufferings?
- Does the problem disappear with anger, anxiety, and pain?
- Is your personality more important or responding to anger and taking revenge?
Reference:
Noble Qur’an
Ethical Discourses by Ayatullah
Shaikh Nasir Makaram Shirazi
For A Better Future by Abdul Azeem al-Muhtadi al-Bahrani
Jami’ al-Sadat by
Muhammad Mahdi al-Naraqi
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